coconut ice cream review: it's a tough job, but someboday's got to do it

Warning: This post contains hedonistic information that may be deemed offensive to the weight conscious, calorie-counting, fat-fearful, raw foodist or ascetic. Reader discretion is advised.

Creamy. Rich. Decadent. These words seem way too wimpy to describe the devilishly toothsome texture of Turtle Mountain's new coconut-based ice cream line. Other words come to mind. Words like ecstasy. Orgasmic. Sinful. Rapturous. Eating this viscous frozen indulgence makes me feel as if I should head straight to confession–and I haven't been to confession since 6th grade. This vegan product truly lives up to its "Purely Decadent" label. Coconut fans will appreciate the delicate coconut essence that's present in most flavors as a pleasant back note.

Here's how Omniman and I rated the five flavors we tried, with 5 coconuts being the best and 1 being the worst:

Cookie Dough: Urban Vegan's Pick
Urban Vegan: 5 coconuts; Omniman: 4.5 coconuts
Fat-toothed cookie dough, accented with dark chocolate chips, swimming in a pleasant, "dulce de leche-esque" base. This would be on my last meal list. [Yes, I ate almost the whole pint in one sitting.]

Chocolate: Omniman's Pick
Urban Vegan: 4 coconuts; Omniman: 5 coconuts
So fluffy and rich that it resembles a chocolate mousse made from heavy cream. A little goes a long way. Next time, I'll try mine with a drizzle of Cointreau or Framboise.

Chocolate Mint
Urban Vegan: 4.5 coconuts; Omniman: 4 coconuts
There's something immensely satisfying about standing in your jammies and eating this straight from the container, using your spoon to break through the chocolate veins. Expertly balanced and refreshing, the coconut base was the least apparent in this flavor, owing to the mint.

Coconut
Urban Vegan: 4; Omniman: 3.5 coconuts
Punctuated by chewy, pleasant flecks of dessicated coconut, this version is much tastier than the coconut ice cream you'll find in your friendly neighborhood Thai restaurant.

Vanilla
Urban Vegan: 3.5 coconuts; Omniman: 3.5 coconuts
Smooth and perhaps a tad too sweet, it lacked the balance that the other flavors had. As good as any vanilla soy ice cream on the market– but not great. I would have liked to experience more of the vanilla bean flecks.

This product will undoubtedly become popular with those who are fearful of too much soy. But I am not raving about Purely Decadent Coconut Milk Ice Creams because of soy-phobia: organic, non-GMO soy is part of my daily diet.

Nor am I coco-phobic. Some folks are scared off by the high saturated fat of coconut milk-based products. But current research is showing that all saturated fats are not created equal, and that when part of a varied, healthful diet, an occasional coconut treat is much better for you than, say, an occasional Big Mac. [Remember: coconut has no cholesterol.] Coconut also contains minerals and lauric acid, a compound which some people think helps break down fat.

A foggy aside

The coconut ice cream samples arrived packed in dry ice. My sink resembled a nimbus cloud after I poured water on the it. [Don't try this at home–especially if you have pets or kids. The carbon dioxide can harm them. I quickly opened all the windows after realizing what I had done.] After a quick Google search, I learned that, to dispose of dry ice, you just need to set it aside and let it sublimate.